WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. – Jim Crane should have come to the Astros press conference Thursday with a dollar-covered suit jacket and opened it to reveal a lining of the $ 50 million worth of World Series 2017 earnings for the United States Franchise.
"It was the wild west of technology and we were best at it because we removed any moral compass in terms of rules and decency and therefore won a World Series and made all that money, and we neither give back nor are we we apologize. Crane out. "
At least, that would have been more sincere than the regret performance art created by the Astros owner and those who come from the spoiled squad of 2017. They all met on Wednesday night to plan what to say when they first met with reporters on Thursday since it became known last November that they were among the worst scammers in baseball history.
They were better off sticking to a script approved by crisis management than any other actor in Parasite. Well, except when Crane said, "Our opinion is that (illegal theft of shields) didn't affect the game," and less than a minute later, he replied, "Well, I didn't say it didn't affect the game. "
If you also wanted to accept generalized word cheese – hello, fans in Houston – then Crane and the Crane-ettes served it abundantly. But these words have difficulty resisting decency or logic:
– All Astros offered "regrets" that they had illegally stolen signs and "regretted" that they had done nothing to stop them. But of course, like all villains, you had to be caught to convey these feelings. And are the feelings real? Last month at the team's fan festival, Jose Altuve and Alex Bregman showed no regrets or regrets. Only once properly p.r.spun they found their inner remorse.
– Most Astros spoke of learning from this remorseful, regrettable experience. But when asked what he learned, Bregman could have spoken for all of his team-mates if he had thought and lined up and mostly came up with “things”. Probably one of those things is not getting caught.
– For a man, all Astros insisted that if the team won in 2017 without cheating, they would respect any judgment from outside, but internally they absolutely believe they would have emerged as champions due to their talent.
So this could be a good time to remind you why we're here. Hundreds and hundreds of times over months and months and games and games at least in 2017, the Astros signaled the hits when off-speed seats came. This also means that if there were no trash can bangs, a batsman on the plan could be pretty sure that a fastball would come.
The idea that this didn't help the Astros win games (plural) recalls the steroid users who told me that no one could be sure how much they helped. The answer was: "You were sure that they helped, or why should you endanger your health and reputation for years?" According to the commissioners' report that the organization relies so much on general coverage, the Astros said the team tried to continue cheating until 2018. Why do you do that if you DIDN'T KNOW that the 2017 system works great in the championship?
We need to be able to keep two thoughts in our head at the same time, as if we knew that Barry Bonds would have neither the single-season nor the all-time Homer records if he hadn't cheated. Bonds are not deleted from the record books. The 2017 Astros Championship is also not. However, we know that both are at least suspicious and, in the worst case, completely betrayed.
Despite the word testing and rehearsals, almost no astro came across well on Thursday. and maybe that would have been impossible with any words or actions. Not only have they been wrong, they have been hated as an organization for years because a general cold and arrogance that flowed generously made it now more difficult to accept repentance.
Crane, one of the commissioner's chiefs, was exonerated by the commissioner responsible. But his statement from Sergeant Schultz that he had no idea what was going on raised the question of whether he was deliberately stupid or dishonest. The sport was full of fraudulent complaints about the Astros for years. Didn't he hear any of them? He hired GM Jeff Luhnow and manager A.J. Back and empowered them and endorsed the culture that led, among other things, to the hideous behavior of former assistant GM Brandon Taubman during last year's playoffs and the startling press releases afterwards.
Crane hired James Click as his new GM to replace the fired Luhnow, and Click tried a cheerful conversation on Thursday that sounded more and more ridiculous when he couldn't definitely say that two current Astros executives were tied to the scam , would be released if that were the case. For this reason, it is hard to believe when Astros employees swear that no fraud has occurred in the past year – and no one promises – and when Crane promises that he will never see this happen again.
The only Astros employee who came across well was the new manager Dusty Baker, who replaced the fired Hinch. When asked whether he would lead one of the other 29 teams, how he would feel towards the Astros, the wise baker said: "We always talk about forgiveness, but nobody wants to forgive."
The Astros with their practiced soulless reactions make it difficult to forgive. What is worse for them is that when they cheat, they should expect their opponents and their history not to be forgotten in 2020.