"I feel cheated." My husband divides his property 50/50 between me and his daughter – should I find another man?

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<pre><pre>"Maybe a little pain helps." My ex-husband doesn't leave our house and rents rooms at Airbnb - should I keep him from making extra money?


Dear moneyist,

My husband and I live in Minnesota. My husband's only child lives with her husband and daughter in Tennessee. You both have a very good income. I am an only child and if my parents die I will have no family at all. When I married my husband, I assumed that he and I are now a family and would always take care of each other.

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I recently found that he is leaving half of his assets to his daughter and half to me. I always had my husband as a 100% beneficiary for my entire fortune. Now I feel like a third bike and I feel like he and I are not really family. I feel cheated. The way I feel may be wrong, but it's still the way I feel. I am very depressed about it.

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My parents leave everything behind, and when they're gone, everything that's left goes to me. I was surprised that my husband doesn't do the same. And women with children that I work with do the same. They told me that if they found out that their husbands left only half to them and the other half to their children, they would be very angry.

I can't help but believe that even though I'm 63 now, there is a man who is looking for someone to marry and have as a family.

T. S.

Dear T.S.,

You equate your husband's estate plans with his love for you. If he leaves you with only 50% of his wealth, does that mean that he loves you less? 50% less? Does that mean he doesn't have your back completely? It may feel like that now, but it doesn't make it true.

You could say that you are doing exactly what you accuse him of: making money as a barometer of how much you love yourself. If you don't get 50% of his fortune, does that mean you love him less? 50% less? Does that mean you have no back?

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I often received letters from second spouses about their stepchildren's inheritance. Some are more generous than others. However, it is not uncommon for a husband or wife to leave a percentage of the estate and the rest to their own children. That also makes sense.

If your husband died without a will, the Minnesota Law would award you the first $ 225,000 of that property and 50% of the balance. So you'd be better off if he died without will. But that's why people make wills to ensure that their desires are fulfilled.

It goes without saying for a person to make sure that their spouse is looked after and that they don't stay on the street when they are gone. I assume that you have enough money to live and a place to live. I don't understand why he should choose between you and his daughter.

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Finding a new husband because you don't get 100% of your husband's estate when he dies is at best an overreaction for me. What expectations did you have of this marriage? Did your decision to marry bring financial security?

Do you own the family home? If he bought that before you got married and it's just his name in the certificate, do you have a cohabitation you can live in – and if you died his daughter, would she inherit it? These are fair questions.

But this is also a good time to ask yourself questions.

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Do you have questions about inheritance, tips, weddings, family feuds, friends or tricky questions about customs and money? Send them to MarketWatchs Moneyist, specifying the state you live in (full names are not used).

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